Post by Lunatik on Dec 13, 2007 15:19:42 GMT -5
This following quote is something that my girlfriend wrote.
Ok, fighting I can see. We've had our fare share of them, plus some extra. Not all of them are my fault. I try not to fight generally, though sometimes it's unavoidable. I have the bad habit of trying to just forget about everything and move on. Works sometimes, but as nice as it sounds it's not always the best habit.
Disrespect? That's pushing it. I know I', a sarcastic smart ass and all. But I don't go all out on stuff. I could call her lazy slob or a leech on a regular basis if I wanted. She's been unemployed for at least half our relationship, sitting home doing nothing, but eating and playing on the computer. She's made hundreds of banners and matching avatars for people. That gives a small example of her time spent on the computer. When she actually manage to get a job, they really didn't last very long. Maybe a few months on the high end. Nothing really stable or exceptionally helpful in the long run. Bills and stuff are in her name, but I'm the one paying them all. When the car breaks down, I pay for the parts to fix it again. When she got arrested for driving without a license it was my money that got her out of jail. And then it was my problem to figure out how to make sure rent was at least paid.
Trust? Ok, in the past I've fucked up and given her reasons to not trust me. I've worked to change that. I've done nothing wrong for a while now. I don't even stay out late on dart nights anymore. Almost every night sees me home by midnight or earlier. Even my drinking has cut back. Even before I got cut off at work. In the past I was spending anywhere from $20 to around $50 a day work. That shit adds up. I stopped that, i cut down to pretty much just one day, and I was drinking for free for the most part. So very little money was actually spent. I don't even drink that much at darts. Though I've had a few night where I should have paced myself a little better or at least not had that last shot.
Nothing has impaired my ability to take care of Dominic either. I might not change a diaper when I get home because I've drank and just went to bed. But I get up nearly every single time he cries regardless of time or how little I've slept. It's been that way since he came home from the hospital. I've done the best to my ability considering I am a rookie at this and haven't even had to take care of a baby within the family before.
I know we're poor, but I'd like to think that I've done the best that I can with what I have. Though when I come home I almost always get a *I wish we had this* or *We should get that* or something to that extent. That doesn't exactly make me feel real good. I'm trying my best, but it never seems to be enough. She's almost always gotten anything or done anything she wanted to. I rarely ever tell her no, unless money is really tight, even then I crack and let her do/have stuff. We've even talked before about my inability to tell her no very often.
I love her and I want her to be here with me, raising Dominic, like a real family. I think I'm too late and out of chances though. I can't lose Dominic.
Ok. So my deal with men this week, or make that month and probably months to come...Im leaving David (MG). Im sick of the fighting and the disrespect. I cant trust him and further more Im just not happy here. I dont wake up anymore looking forward to a day with him or cuddle him in our sleep. Yes. I love him... we've been together for over 2 years now, I cant just fall out of love. But I know I dont love him like I used to. And what a shitty timing to be leaving, but I've got to do it. If I dont make a decision, its just going to continue the way it has been in the past several months. Im going to wait until after Christmas, Im pretty sure I have things lined up now, but I just dont want any drama and tension during the holiday. We dont need to ruin both our families holidays just because he and I are separating. And when Im out, and all that is put aside, Im taking a vacation. I dont even care where, maybe I'll be crazy and take up that offer to go to Korea. But either way, Im taking one. After being stuck in a house for over 2 years, Im finally getting out. I deserve it right? And today, Im not going to question or do any what ifs when it comes to Robert. Ok, so I'll try not to lol. I cant help it, its what I do. But for now, thats all I want to say...
Ok, fighting I can see. We've had our fare share of them, plus some extra. Not all of them are my fault. I try not to fight generally, though sometimes it's unavoidable. I have the bad habit of trying to just forget about everything and move on. Works sometimes, but as nice as it sounds it's not always the best habit.
Disrespect? That's pushing it. I know I', a sarcastic smart ass and all. But I don't go all out on stuff. I could call her lazy slob or a leech on a regular basis if I wanted. She's been unemployed for at least half our relationship, sitting home doing nothing, but eating and playing on the computer. She's made hundreds of banners and matching avatars for people. That gives a small example of her time spent on the computer. When she actually manage to get a job, they really didn't last very long. Maybe a few months on the high end. Nothing really stable or exceptionally helpful in the long run. Bills and stuff are in her name, but I'm the one paying them all. When the car breaks down, I pay for the parts to fix it again. When she got arrested for driving without a license it was my money that got her out of jail. And then it was my problem to figure out how to make sure rent was at least paid.
Trust? Ok, in the past I've fucked up and given her reasons to not trust me. I've worked to change that. I've done nothing wrong for a while now. I don't even stay out late on dart nights anymore. Almost every night sees me home by midnight or earlier. Even my drinking has cut back. Even before I got cut off at work. In the past I was spending anywhere from $20 to around $50 a day work. That shit adds up. I stopped that, i cut down to pretty much just one day, and I was drinking for free for the most part. So very little money was actually spent. I don't even drink that much at darts. Though I've had a few night where I should have paced myself a little better or at least not had that last shot.
Nothing has impaired my ability to take care of Dominic either. I might not change a diaper when I get home because I've drank and just went to bed. But I get up nearly every single time he cries regardless of time or how little I've slept. It's been that way since he came home from the hospital. I've done the best to my ability considering I am a rookie at this and haven't even had to take care of a baby within the family before.
I know we're poor, but I'd like to think that I've done the best that I can with what I have. Though when I come home I almost always get a *I wish we had this* or *We should get that* or something to that extent. That doesn't exactly make me feel real good. I'm trying my best, but it never seems to be enough. She's almost always gotten anything or done anything she wanted to. I rarely ever tell her no, unless money is really tight, even then I crack and let her do/have stuff. We've even talked before about my inability to tell her no very often.
I love her and I want her to be here with me, raising Dominic, like a real family. I think I'm too late and out of chances though. I can't lose Dominic.